“A White Water Lily”
I have just finished this painting of this white water lily, dated February 22, 2010. It is based on one of the water lilies in my KOI fish ponds. I am so pleased with this painting, maybe because I had to work so hard and had so much trouble painting it. You see, this is my third complete painting of this lily.
The first two paintings were each started with such high expectations, but as each painting progressed they slowly turned to nightmarish piles of tangled muddy colors with my spirits spiraling down in complete despair. For days, I struggled with each one and finally would reach the point where it was time to trash it and walk away. Some people say I have a God given talent. Well, if so, he is certainly making me work hard to use it.
At 3:45 am this morning, I awoke and knew how to do this painting. I got up and fixed coffee. While waiting for the coffee to brew, I fed Simba the cat his breakfast. Then, with a fresh cup of hot coffee, a satisfied tomcat, and a new idea and high anticipation I started doing the layout on a fresh sheet of watercolor paper.
As the hours went by and the painting was slowly immerging before me, I could tell that this time, it was going to be a “good one.” Of course, I could still screw it up with each brush stroke, so the tension and pressure built up as I painted. By noon, the painting was finished.
It is hard to describe in words the wonderful feelings inside me when a painting is finished. I step back from the painting to decide whether or not to do anything else to the painting or leave it be for posterity and I have that emotional “gut” feeling that it is a good one. It is a high that I am addicted to and it is my fix.
It is my lay medical understanding that this wonderful feeling of accomplishment in our gut starts with a chemical reaction triggered in the brain. This chemical reaction happens when someone does something for which they are especially proud, such as a football player scoring a touchdown, a baseball player hitting a homerun, a girl finally getting that special guy to ask her for a date, teenagers with their first love, a boy with his first car, a mom watching her first-born child receive his or her high school diploma, a dad when he gets that first great job and so on. I think the sensation that we feel is actually occurring in our liver.
There is another reason why this painting is extra special. While I was doing the two other paintings last week that were disasters, I had the good fortune to get to know, at least through emails, Linda Ellis, the poet and author that wrote the famous poem The Dash. So I have been studying her website, reading her poems and treasuring each email she has sent me. Of course, in reading her poem The Dash over and over again, I couldn’t help but be reflective about my own dash.
I am so grateful, that I have lived long enough to enjoy the high of creating this painting. As I write this story, I wonder what the history of this painting will be. Will others think as I do that it is a good painting?
For sure, now and forevermore, it will be part of my dash.
Cheers,
Acree
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